The IMs have been scare a bit as of late – usually when they find out I’m not who they’re looking for, they just leave me alone. Which is fine. I had a couple recently I thought’d I’d share. Enjoy; you know I always do.

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larence32: Hey queer how do I get music off this shit?
shad: you have music on your shit?
larence32: My shit is very melodic.
shad: then eat less fiber
larence32: Tune filled turds
larence32: You make a mockery of our fun
larence32: I there a way for us to send music over this?
shad: You have no idea who you’re talking to, do you
shad: You don’t know who I am…
larence32: Is this Shad at OneVenice way
shad: Nope
larence32: Sorry Peace
shad: later

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KnoxD08: was good?
Shad: Who’s this?
KnoxD08:This Is Dari…U Dont know me?
shad: No..and you don’t know me either. You have the wrong person
KnoxD08:Is this Rashad?
shad: No
KnoxD08: who is this?
shad: Shad
KnoxD08: wats ur last name
KnoxD08: jus wondering not stalkin or nothin like that
shad: Why do you care what my last name is? you don’t know me YOU DIRTY DIAPER PUS BAG
shad: Christ
shad: sorry about that
shad: I have a weird form of Tourettes
KnoxD08: um chill out im jus tryin to figure out who dis is thats all
shad: I know, I know – sorry. It doesn’t happen often, promise.
shad: you SOGGY WET TOILET WAD
shad: God! sorry about that – some days are worse than others…
KnoxD08: um ok…
shad: As I said, my name is Shad, not Rashad
KnoxD08: ooh okay mah bad
KnoxD08: and wats tourettes?
Shad: it’s a neurological disorder. It makes me twitchy and I spontaneously shout (or type) phrases like the diaper bag one. Usually they’re crass and obscene, but like I said, I have a weird form of it, so it’s not so drastic
KnoxD08: damn, thats sum freaky shit
KnoxD08: u do that all the time?
Shad: Well, it comes and goes YOU USED UP KLEENEX and sometimes I can go weeks without it happening.
Shad: half the time I don’t notice it right away, but I see I just called you a kleenex. Sorry.
KnoxD08: ur a trip
Shad: yeah, it can be weird if you’re not used to it.
Shad: SCRUFFY GOAT NASTY HAIR CAUGHT IN THE DRAIN COFFEE DREGS GROSS EAR WAX ON A Q-TIP PIECE OF CHEWED UP BUBBLE GUM!!
Shad: geez – sorry, I’m really having a bad episode, I’d better go…
KnoxD08: its straight i understand that completely
KnoxD08: mah fault for botheriing u