• I’m supposed to go camping this weekend. I’ve talked about this particular camping trip before. I really hope it doesn’t rain, but the weather forecast isn’t promising
• I was nominated for an award here at work. They call it the Elite Award and give it to one person a quarter. Considering I’ve been here only ten weeks, I think that’s a good sign.
• Over heard at the bar, a lady talking to a guy: “Yes, she was my first lover, but I’m with you now, and I wear your collar” – I so wanted to turn around and stare.
• My buddy Doug has started flying lessons and is keeping a rather comprehensive journal about it. Very good reading, if you enjoy reading about that kind of stuff, which I do. Though it tends to make me jealous
• Looks like my iPod was stolen. Last place I remember having it was here on my desk at work. If it was, and if I did leave it, it has walked away. Sadness.
• I have been working on a new design. I have three mockups, with different colors and layouts. I just can’t decide on one I like. Maybe I’ll put it to a vote. It’d be nice to have my own design up, rather than a prepackaged one.
• Stupid Surf Control software here at work will let me work on muse.harleyroads.com but blocks www.harleyroads.com. Go figure.
• I finally bought the full license for Expression Engine, hence the desire to work on www.harleyroads.com in my downtime here at work.
• I want to sign up for Nathan’s creative writing class again – between work and work and play practice, I’m not sure I’ll have time…
• I need a time machine.
• I so hope it doesn’t rain this weekend.

No wonder I never sleep. Too much crap running through my head. Look at all that!

#3 and #7 are spot on.

We had a group of hairdressers come in the other night, obviously worn out from a long day. They were all dressed in pink shirts with the salon’s name on it, along with a ribbon for breast cancer awareness. They’d been doing a fund-raiser all day and were apparently looking to unwind a bit.

An hour and several drinks later, they were all enjoying themselves and having a good time. I made a point to travel to their end of the bar every twenty minutes or so just to check up on them. I was making the journey down to check on them, and had just reached them and was about to ask if they needed anything when the lady right next to me said in a very loud, clear, and carrying voice, “…and that got her out of blowjobs for a year!”

I spun around on my heel, and turned 180 degrees and walked back towards the other end. I figured if they wanted me, they’d holler. And I’m not sure I wanted to be a part of that particular conversation…

So I have created a new category, “Overheard At The Bar”, and I’ll be sharing a few of the choice bits I hear that either make my jaw drop (which I’ll be detailing in a second here), or that just make me laugh.

Bill is a regular at the bar, and usually orders anywhere between five and eight Jim Bean and ginger-ales. He’s in his mid-sixties, quite a nice guy and always leaves a $20 tip. Not bad, especially when you’re on your own behind the bar and don’t have to split it. Last night he came in and sat next to a trio of ladies, and after a couple of drinks, started chatting up the one sitting next to him. She responded positively to him, and within forty-five minutes (and three drinks later) was totally ignoring her companions and focusing solely on Bill. More power to him, as is my mantra for any guy who’s chatting up a good looking lady.

Well, walking by Bill and his lady friend at one point, I heard him say to her “So…have you ever heard of the mile-high club?” I damn near laughed out loud right there. Heck with dinner, or even “Let’s go to the hotel down the street” — He’s shooting for the stars, almost literally. Granted, I probably took it out of context, but it was still pretty funny to hear. Heck of a pick-up line…
Later on that same evening, I was called down to the end of the bar. The couple at that end had been drinking wine all night (polishing off a $70 bottle of wine along with two other glasses) and were obviously in a good mood. When I got there, the lady (who’d been the one who’d requested my presence) looked at her boyfriend/husband/guy-she-just-knew and said “OK, ask him.”

Uh-oh, I thought.

He looked at her, and then looked at me, and said “What’s a carpet-muncher?”

This is where the jaw dropped, as I alluded to earlier in this post.

I said “You don’t know what a carpet-muncher is?” and he shook his head no, while his girlfriend/wife/girl-he-just-knew was sitting there starting to giggle.

So, I told him. His eyes got big and he looked at her and said “Really?”

She said “yes!” rather enthusiastically and then asked him “Where the hell are you from?”

“Cleveland!” he replied.

Apparently they don’t know what carpet-munching is in Cleveland. I knew I didn’t like that place.

Anyhow, I laughed with her, and then said “I’m not sure I want to know how this came up in the conversation, so I’ll be back down at the other end out of earshot if either of you need me to fill in more gaps in sexual lingo”

I tell ya though…I got a good tip out of them.